self love

We were taking some family photos the other day, and my love snapped a few of me. Back when I acted for a living in Japan, this was the norm--to stand in front of the camera. I felt comfortable there, and most days I felt ok with how I looked.

I'm almost ashamed to admit how uncomfortable I am in my own skin now. It's all too easy to see the ragged c-section scar, the belly that is softer, fuller, and defies confinement from old skinny jeans, the fuller thighs. I find myself looking in the mirror with anger, and wishing away these new acquisitions.

This body of mind has co-created, carried, and birthed a child. It continues to nourish her with milk. My arms are the safest haven in the world for her. My smile brightens my husbands day, and my legs stand strong on the earth. There is so much to be grateful for. Self love is an ongoing journey, isn't it? For me, it's something I must choose every single day; sometimes every single moment, over and over and over again. To see ourselves the way the ones we love see us. To honor every inch of our souls and hearts and bodies. Truly, what a wild journey it is.

I'd love to see you on Instagram at @ne_neland