night weaning

We stopped nursing at night a couple of months ago when I was at the end of my sleep deprivation rope. I knew that I needed to honor the warning signals that my body was sending me daily. Sleep, sleep, sleep...I would hear from some inner voice, persistent and regular as the ticking of a clock.

The transition was as gentle as we could manage, although there were scattered tears, and some brutal nights. Now she sleeps through--she of the every 1-2 hr wakings--and my exhausted body is grateful. I feel like a real person again. The little things don't break me into a million pieces like they used to.

One day, during the process, she started asking me to bring her her dolls to sleep with. Now, instead of "ne ne's" she holds her dolls close, kissing their much loved faces and stroking their cheeks. This is how she falls asleep. I'm happy with our decision to nurse when the sun rises, but it is so bittersweet--watching her claim her independence one sure step at a time. Knowing that one day I will wake up and my little girl will be grown, the quiet hours of the night we shared together only a cherished memory.