when life throws you lemons

2014 started off on shaky ground for us. There was roseola and croup and a never-ending cold for the whole family, and subsequently, what felt like a couple months of hibernation. I was just starting to regain my footing in the world outside our home, and then we got into a car accident, which shook me to my very core. To have my baby in the backseat while a truck was barreling toward us was simply terrifying. Thankfully the only thing that really suffered was our car. Everything else was minor, and Julie was completely fine. But as I try to regain my nerve to drive, and while I'm at it, attempt to navigate being around other people again, I am doing a lot of soul searching.

It's been seven or eight years (really?!!!) since I landed on the west coast, after having left my life in Japan. In that time, I have only been able to visit Japan once, and New York a couple of times. It's a long time to be away from loved ones. As I see the break neck speed with which Julie is growing up, it only reminds me of how very quickly time passes, and just how precious each and every one of these moments that make up life are.

Sometimes it takes something drastic to wake up. The accident shook me up, but it also made me exceedingly aware of just how tangled up in small things I get. Baskets of unfolded laundry or a pile of dirty dishes before dinner needs to be made can bring me so easily to tears. Or perhaps it's a day that Julie is teething and cranky, and yells at me. Maybe it's the stack of bills that we just can't pay at the moment. Sometimes these things get me down to the point that all the good in our lives is shoved into the background.

And then, there is the moment when I wake up from the illusion, remember who I am--so much more than all of my worries--and start over.
Here's to the lemonade.